The most thrilling event in the Olympics is the men’s 4x100 metre relay. I love watching the four fastest runners from each country line up in their zones and then run like the wind for 100 metres - passing the baton in the marked zone. If there are 10 lanes on the track - that means there are 40 men - in their positions - waiting for their opportunity to carry the baton and then pass it successfully on to the next man on their team. It’s thrilling to watch when the baton is passed correctly. It’s painful to watch when the baton is dropped or fumbled.

When I was in Junior hight school I ran track. I once even got to participate on a relay team - I ran the second leg of the race. It was a long time ago but I do recall the race didn’t go well for our team. We didn’t practice enough learning the art of the exchange of the baton. One of us stepped out of our lane on the exchange and we were disqualified from the entire race. Disappointment for all of us! But it was only a junior high race and none of us were going to be Olympians anyway.

As most of you know - my mom passed away on January 26th - at the age of 100 and a half! Mom slipped away peacefully in our home - just as she had wanted to. She was the last of that generation in our family to leave this world. Because of Covid restrictions, Harvey and I weren’t able to travel to eastern Ontario to attend her burial service. Her service was attended by my siblings and their spouses who live close by. My brother Bob led the service and his words that day sparked my thoughts about the passing of the baton - not literally - but wisdom from one generation to the next.

What does it mean to be part of the oldest generation in my family now? What does that mean for me personally? My parents and aunts and uncles are gone now. They lived - they poured their lives into us - they shared their ideas and guidance - but now it’s us - it’s me. Even now as I write - I HEAR MY MOM’S VOICE and so these are some of the things mom passed to me and my siblings that I want to pass on to my kids and grandkids and the generations that follow.

My son, Ben, made these shirts for our family. This picture of my mom was taken cir. 1960.

#1. GRATEFULNESS

There is always a choice between gratefulness and hatefulness. I used to sing a song to my kids and it went something like this! “Are you humbly grateful or grumbly hateful - what’s your attitude? Do you grumble and groan or let it be known, you’re grateful for all God’s done for you?”

My Mom was adopted by her grandparents when she was only two. Her birth mother died at the young age of 22 leaving my mom and another daughter, 8 month old Melba. Their father was unable to care for his two wee baby girls and that’s when my maternal great grandparents stepped in. My Mom told this story over and over again in her later years about these two wonderful people who put their own lives on hold to care for their two grand-daughters. Mom would say - “when their friends were foot loose and fancy free my grandparents took me and my sister and began raising a second family.” Never once did I ever hear my Mom complain that she was raised by old people. Never once did I ever hear my Mom criticize her birth father for not stepping up to the plate. Mom was forever grateful for her upbringing and the care and love these two gave her. Gratefulness goes a long way. We always can be grateful for something.

#2. MAKE GOOD MEMORIES

During the last few years of Mom’s life she had 5 or 6 favourite stories or sayings and this was one of them.

“My head is full of good memories” - she’d often say when I’d ask her what she was thinking.

Whether it was an impromptu picnic to the beach - coffee with a friend - vacations at the campground - their trailer in Florida - visits from us kids at the lake - these were the things Mom filled her life with. She often spoke of her grandfather taking her and her sister downtown on Saturday night for an ice-cream treat. They would walk (no one had a car except one man on their street - who was showing it off one afternoon to the neighbours and promptly drove it into his garage door but that’s another memory) and each little girl would hold their grandfather’s hand - one on his right and one on his left. She loved her grandfather. As Mom lay in her bed the last few weeks - these good memories comforted her. I think this was instilled into me at a young age and that’s why I’m always planning something. It won’t be money or fame or maybe even health we cling to at the end of our lives - it will be the people who are with us and those we made memories with.

#3. EAT TOGETHER

My Mom cooked for at least 11 people every meal for a lot of years. Mom loved to cook and bake. We ate in the kitchen for breakfast and lunch but for supper - we ate in the dining room. Mom set a beautiful table and our family ate together - every night. We had a big bay window and neighbours and friends would comment to mom - “we saw your family around your table last night”! That was important to Mom that we would have this time together. Our conversations around the table were lively and fun. Strays were always welcome. There are two men who continued to call mom up until the week before she died who regularly ate at our dinner table - young boys who were welcomed to our table because they were lonely and alone. It’s so important to spend time around the table - talking and laughing - sometimes weeping and sad - but always sharing life together.

#4. WORK HARD

Mom - “What day is today?”

Me - “Monday”

Mom - “Wash day”

Mom - “What day is today?”

Me - ” Saturday”

Mom - “Bake day”

Mom - “What day is today?”

Me - “Tuesday”

Mom - “Ironing day”

Mom worked very hard all her life and instilled in her children the essence of work as well. When my sister was here for the two weeks we went through our family list (162 to date) and made note of the jobs the children and grandchildren work at. It was quite fascinating.

The Castle family has - 20 teachers - 15 business owners and employees - 9 nurses - 7 office staff - 11 blue collar workers - 1 lawyer - 8 pastors and ministry workers - 7 parents who work in their homes caring for the children - 3 doctors - 5 medical staff and 2 police. We have an influence in a lot of places.

Our parents both worked hard all their lives and exemplified this ethic to us.

As kids at home we all had our chores to do. No freeloading. Make your bed. Pick up your clothes. Dry the dishes. Shovel the driveway. Do your homework. Practice the piano. Get ‘er done and then have fun.

#5. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FAMILY

At the age of 16, Mom graduated from high school and got a job at the paper mill where she became the Pay Master’s secretary. Mom told us (over and over again) about the women who had permission to come to the mill on Friday afternoon to get their husband’s cheques before the men got off work - or else the men would cash out their cheques - head straight to the local bar and drink and gamble the money away. None of the money would make it home for their wives and children. Mom would finish the story and say ‘my Stan never did that!” She saw it with her own eyes when she was a young impressionable woman - drunks hurt families. “Stay away from that stuff” - she’d say.

Five nights before Mom died - my niece - set up a Zoom call for us siblings and Mom. It took a few minutes to get 8 seniors online - with the video and speakers all working! It was a remarkable 45 minutes. One sister read scripture - one brother prayed for Mom - I sang a hymn - and all shared with Mom our love for her and what a special mother she was to us. Mom spoke to all of us near the end of the call - and there was not a dry eye among us. We sang the hymn - I NEED THEE EVERY HOUR - and mom mouthed all the words -

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord.

No tender voice like Thine, can peace afford.

I need Thee, O I need Thee. Every hour I need Thee!

O bless me now, my Saviour - I come to Thee.

I was sleeping in mom’s room the nights before she passed away - and as we were drifting off to sleep one night I said to mom - “are you afraid?” Mom sat up in bed as best as she could - she was pretty weak - but in her firm voice she said “absolutely not!”

They are gone now! Dad! Mom! The aunts and the uncles! The generation of the 20th century who instilled wise values in my life. Now it’s up to me. It’s up to my siblings. It’s up to you too. Tell the stories. Call your kids and grandkids. Spend vacations together. Be an example to the generations coming along. Don’t wait. Make plans.

I accept the baton.