I was asked a question recently - “Martha, if this was the last thing you wrote, what words of wisdom would you share?” It got me thinking about people’s last words - death scenes I read about or watched in movies - all the family, crowded into the bedroom and someone leaning in to the dying figure on the bed - waiting for that one thing they will say before they are gone! The voice of the sick one is feathery thin - hardly there at all - but still has the desire to speak or write one last thing to his or her loved ones.

We have a whole life time to say things but some - most - wait too long to say the important things - I love you - I’m sorry - I should have listened - I wronged you - I need your forgiveness - You are the best thing that ever happened to me - etc.

Ella Mae Jolliffe (Kinsman) - my mother-in-law

I sat beside two women as they left this life to enter the next - both women used all words in their lifetime but both deaths were remarkable. My mother-in-law - Ella Jolliffe - passed away in 1995 with cancer. She was only sick for 6 months or so. A few days before her death - Randy and I went to visit her in Burlington and while Dad and Randy attended to a few business matters, I sat beside Mom and sang to her and read the Psalms to her. She dozed for a bit as did I and we both awakened with a start. Mom said to me - “I’m so glad Randy chose you!” She fell asleep shortly after that comment and never regained consciousness. A few days later Mom’s faith became sight - but - just before leaving this world - Mom - having been unconscious for three days - opened her big blue eyes - raised her arms to the ceiling - and sighed - not the sigh of one giving up - but the sigh of great anticipation - she had a glimpse of something wonderful. I knew at that moment she was entering heaven. I wished I could have seen what she saw. I’ll have to wait.

My own Mom passed away in our home in 2021. She was 100 and a half years young. Ever since my Dad had passed away in 2007, Mom had constantly talked about her “Stan the Man!” She longed to join Dad in heaven. The few days before Mom died, her words started to become jumbled. She slept most of the days away and even in her dreams, she often murmured Dad’s name. An interesting thing happened just hours before her death though. She spoke very clearly - “Mom! Mom! I’m coming!” My Mom’s mom - my grandmother passed away in 1922, two years after Mom was born. My mother never knew her own mother and yet when it was hours from her own death, my Mom was calling out to her mother. Amazing. It was a spiritual moment for me.

Both my Mom and Mother-in- law were great women. They both were an example to me.

Here are ten “last words/phrases” - written to my grandchildren but they apply to everyone!

#1. Be Kind! To your parents - to your siblings - to your family and friends - to dogs - to the people in your neighbourhood - to the store clerks - to your teachers - to your co-workers - to strangers. Say nice things. Do good things. Nobody likes a meanie!

#2. Share! Your toys, Your parents. Your food. Your self! Your money! Don’t be a hoarder and keep everything to yourself. If you do - your life will be full of things but empty of the important. It’s way more fun to have a little together than much alone.

#3. Look people in the eye! When your parents, or grandparents, or children, or teachers, or anyone for that matter - speaks to you, acknowledge them and make eye contact. It’s rude not to.

#4. Don’t be a quitter! There are many lessons in life to learn so begin early. Learn to tie your own shoes. Learn to skate. Learn to read. Learn to play an instrument. Learn to make your bed. Learn to cook. Finish what you started.

#5. Life isn’t fair! There will always be someone better than you and someone worse off. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t compare your life to others. Some things happen in our lives that are awesome and wonderful and we feel we have everything on the proverbial silver platter. At other times, it will feel like everything is going wrong. Don’t even think about whining, Just don’t. Contentment comes into play here.

#6. Eat your fruits and veggies! It’s pretty simple. Eat things you have to peel, chop, sauté - 90 percent of the time. The other 10 percent - open the box, go through the drive through!

#7. Don’t be a complainer! Learn to rejoice in the simple things in life. Learn to be grateful. Learn to be thankful. Practice gratitude. Learn to thank God for all the good gifts He gives us. Everything we have is a gift from God.

#8. Colour outside the lines. No description needed!

#9. Hug and kiss - a lot! Show affection. Always say “I love you” to the important people in your life. Always kiss and hug your parents and siblings “good night” and “good morning!” Life is too short to be mad and grumpy. It’s also lonely Nobody likes to hang around grumpy people. Everyone needs affection.

#10. Take care of the needy! Harv and I were reminded of this when he had his knee replaced a few weeks ago. He vocalized so many times how thankful he was for me as he reflected on the time he was alone and wondered what he would have done if we weren’t married. You think of these things when you are single. Now - we take care of each other. There are many - though - who are alone and need someone to call them, texts them, invite them to dinner.

Yesterday - I met Indy at her bus as Heather was out with Adele. While we were driving to our house - Indigo said to me “so, did you write your last words?”

I did!

They probably won’t make a top ten list of Hollywood or great literature but they sure make sense to me and I hope and pray my kids and grandkids heed them.