During the Christmas holidays, I watched LITTLE WOMEN with some of my grandchildren and daughters-in-law. It was the 1994 version. I remember the Christmas of 1994 when I put the video of LITTLE WOMEN under our tree and watched it with my own family. I read the book a number of times when I was a little girl. Watching it this year during the holidays renewed my interest in this wonderful book and all the lessons that Alcott weaves into her story.

Louisa May Alcott wrote LITTLE WOMEN loosely based on her own family and relationship with her sisters and parents. The book was first published in the late 1860’s.

Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy, and their mother, whom they call MARMEE, live in Massachusetts in genteel poverty. Having lost all his money, their father is serving as a chaplain for the Union Army in the American Civil War, far from home. The book begins with the mother and daughters facing their first Christmas without him. When Marmee asks them to give their Christmas breakfast away to an impoverished family, the girls and their mother venture into town, laden with baskets, to feed the hungry children. When they return, they discover their wealthy, elderly neighbor, Mr. Laurence, has sent over a decadent surprise dinner, to make up for their breakfast. The two families become acquainted, following these acts of kindness.

Meg and Jo must work to support the family: Meg tutors a nearby family of four children; Jo assists her aged great-aunt March, a wealthy widow living in a mansion in Plumfield. Beth, too timid for school, is content to stay at home and help with housework; and Amy is still at school. Meg is beautiful and traditional, Jo is a tomboy who writes, Beth is a peacemaker and a pianist, and Amy is an artist who longs for elegance and fine society. The sisters strive to help their family and improve their characters, as Meg is vain, Jo is hotheaded, Beth is super shy, and Amy - well she is materialistic. Laurie, Mr. Laurence's orphaned grandson, becomes close friends with the sisters, particularly the tomboyish Jo.

Alcott tells the story so eloquently about the ups and downs - the fights and squabbles - of growing up together in their home. It definitely reminds me somewhat of my home - 4 sisters but add 5 brothers into the mix. The book begins when the girls are young - between 17 and 10 or so.

I relate to this book in so many ways. The scene where Beth (sister #3) passes away rips my heart out every time I watch it. Having lost two of my brothers - Tim in 1994 and Ted in 2023 - my heart breaks over and over again. Losing one’s parents - even losing your spouse - is very different than losing one of your siblings. As I have mentioned, I grew up with 8 sisters and brothers (but mostly my brothers - as my sisters were older and gone from home when I was young) - my brothers are ensconced in my first memories - crawling into their beds to warm up in the early hours of the morning - playing simple games on the register waiting for mom and dad to wake up - my brothers walking me to and from school - my brothers watching out for me - teasing me but caring for me - letting me be one of them.

Here are 5 lessons I relearned from watching LITTLE WOMEN this past week!

#1. Be quick to forgive and even quicker to apologize.

It’s normal for family members to quarrel and even more normal to be angry at each other - but don’t waste your time being mad and resentful. Forgiveness is for our own growth. Jo March said - “life is far too short to be angry at one’s sisters.” This statement comes after a horrendous fight with her youngest sister, Amy. Amy definitely did a horrible thing. She threw Jo’s finished - only manuscript into the fire after not being invited to a party with her older sisters. When Jo comes home and finds out what Amy has done, she is furious and vows never to forgive Amy. A short time later, when Amy falls through the pond while ice skating, Jo realizes that her sister is far more important to her than her cherished book.

There was a time - a long time ago - when I had an unforgiving spirit towards one of my sisters….6 weeks…..I held onto a wee grudge and it was me who suffered most. Finally I made the call - talked it out - asked for forgiveness and promised myself that never again would I hold something against any of my siblings.

#2. Behind a strong woman……are more strong women.

I was raised by the strongest woman I ever met - my Mom - she raised 9 children (born in 1940 - 1958) and we lived solely on my dad’s salary from the paper mill. How she stretched that pay cheque to feed us all (and half the neighbourhood) is beyond me. How she coped with teenagers and babies at the same time was incredible. How she kept our house running smoothly was an example to me. It wasn’t demeaning to her - it was her source of joy. Mom lived to be 100. My older sisters have been a huge blessing and inspiration to me. Teachers and professors. Pastor’s wives. Youth leaders. My daughters-in-law! My grand-daughters! So many beautiful women have helped shape me to be the woman I am today.

#3. Live the story you want to tell.

In the movie, Aunt March felt it was her obligation to be in full control of her nieces’ lives. To this day, there are a lot of people like Aunt March who have so much to say about how others should live their lives but none about their own - telling them what they should do and what they shouldn’t do. Jo spoke for many when she stood up for herself and said that she intends to make her own way in this world.

I think the best compliment I ever received was when someone once said to me - “You aren’t like any pastor’s wife I’ve ever met.” Sometimes Pastor’s wives were put on a pedestal or into a mold and I definitely always marched to my own drummer. I wanted and still do - want to be my own person. I’m strong-willed. I work hard. I play hard. I strive to be better - lift heavier - eat more healthy - try new things - meet new people - see new things! My story is my story. Your story is your story. We don’t need to compare. We need to encourage.

#4. Love means letting go.

Loss is an integral part of life. People really don’t like change. We don’t like it when those we hold close to us die or move away or unfriend us - however the only two constants in life are - change and death. Change was inevitable in the March family. The father went to war. Money was hard to come by. The girls grew up and moved away. Beth became ill and eventually passed away from the effects of her illness.

When I was a young mother - days were long but the years were short. All too soon, the boys were off to university - starting jobs - getting married - having families of their own. To truly love my sons was letting them go - to love their wives and children first and foremost. And isn’t that what love is - putting someone else before yourself? Now our greatest joy is watching and encouraging and blessing our grown children.

It was Mother Teresa who said - “You will teach them to to fly but they will not fly your flight. You will teach them to dream but they will not dream your dream. You will teach them to live but they will not live your life. Nevertheless, in every flight, in every life, in every dream - the print of the way you taught them will remain.”

#5. Stop comparing other people’s dreams to yours.

“Just because my dreams are different from yours doesn’t make them unimportant” said Meg March to her sister, Jo. Meg was getting married and all she wanted to be was a wife and mother and Jo thought it too demeaning for her sister to settle for such a life.

We all have our separate ambitions. We all do things that make us satisfied and grateful and joyful. We mustn’t shame others because they don’t share the same dreams as we do and vice versa. Recently someone said to me that they “played pickle ball for fun - not like you”. One can play any game - any sport - for recreation but also those same sports can be played competitively as well. We must stop comparing and judging.

Okay - just one more! A bonus lesson from the movie. Giving is a greater joy than receiving. In the very first scene in the movie, the sisters sit around the fire complaining about the circumstances the family finds themselves in. Jo grumbles “Christmas won’t be Christmas without any presents!” Meg puts in her two cents with - “It’s so dreadful to be poor!” But very quickly we find out that the girls spend their small amount of change on gifts for their mother - not themselves - and then also (reluctantly) take their own Christmas breakfast to a starving family who lives nearby. They were taught well.

I am a gift giver. I love sharing our home and blessings with others. I love seeing the joy on the faces of our grandchildren when they open their birthday or Christmas or “just because” presents. I love arriving at their homes with their favourite muffins and cookies and coffee. There is no greater joy for me. My heart is full.

So - grab a copy of Little Women and either read it yourself or to your children or to your grandchildren - or watch the movie. You will laugh and cry! You will want to be a part of this family. (Even you guys will enjoy it).

Above all - as we begin this new year - let’s all put into practice the lessons learned from the March family.