When I was a little girl - people would ask me what I wanted to do when I grew up. I would reply - “be a wife and a mom”. Both of those desires were granted to me and it was a privilege to be both - first the wife - and then the mom to my three little boys. Now it’s my privilege to be grammie to ten Jolliffe grandchildren and to five Lootsma step-grandchildren. These are the truths and advice I want to impart to these fifteen young ones and I trust they will pass this on to their children someday - my great grandchildren.

Susanna Wesley said this about raising children - “Tis no small honour to be entrusted with the care of these souls…..it will be certainly no little accession to the future glory to stand forth at the last day and say - ‘Lord, here are the children which Thou hast given me, of whom I have lost none by my ill example, nor by neglecting to install in their minds, in the early years, the principles of Thy true religion and virtue’”.

I’m so grateful that the Lord entrusted me with children and now our grandchildren - these dear - precious souls - who are forever “mine”. Raising children is hard . To varying degrees, they gobble up our time, energy, money, sleep, space, patience and sometimes our sanity, but they are and always will be our greatest accomplishments. So - like Solomon we say - “behold children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward” and it is our responsibility to teach them.

In no particular order………………my top ten pieces of advice.

#1. Learn to be content in any circumstance.

Contentment is peace of mind and has absolutely nothing to do with external pleasure or condition but rather with your attitude. Jeremiah 17:7-8 says - “Blessed is the person who trusts in the Lord - whose trust is the Lord. She is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream and does not fear when heart comes, for its leaves remain green. It is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.” I want my grandchildren to be content knowing that their heavenly situation is secure - that nothing happens to them except that is ultimately for their good - that God is for them - that their relationship with Jesus will never fail. It is always possible to be grateful for what is given rather than resentful over what is withheld. One or the other will become a way of life.

#2. The devil is a liar.

Satan prowls around looking for people to devour. When Satan speaks, he lies, because that is his character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. Recognize this truth when you are young - dear ones. Randy used to preach this fact - that Satan doesn’t play fair. His darts are ever at us and against us. He is working to steal hearts and marriages and children and morals. Satan takes eyes off of Jesus and causes them to be distracted. DON’T GET DISTRACTED. Satan is a deceiver. He is a discourager. He is negative. WATCH OUT! KEEP YOUR GUARD UP!

How do you avoid Satan’s counterfeit life? Give thanks! Rejoice! Pray! Think on things that are true, honourable, pure, right, lovely, admirable and excellent. Be careful what you think because thoughts will run your life! ABOVE ALL - GUARD YOUR HEART

#3. Read biographies of great heroes of the faith!

Here are a few of my favourites! Jim Elliot - Amy Carmichael - Charles Spurgeon - David Livingstone - Billy Graham - Corrie Ten Boom - Fanny Crosby - Watchman Nee - John Bunyan - DL Moody - Elisabeth Elliot - to name a few. Reading biographies allows you to be mentored by saints throughout the centuries. You will get a front row seat to their lives - their joys, hardships, losses and victories. You will see they were spiritually strong but also as human as you are. They had to walk through the same seasons of life just as you will but when the Lord captured their hearts for Him, they followed Him faithfully (just as I trust you always will too). You will also read how they lived for Jesus to the end of their lives. You will read their story from the beginning to the end - and when you read about the end of these heroes lives, you will be reminded that your life will end one day. You will be encouraged to live faithfully to the end of your life too.

#4. Learn hymns and memorize them.

The truth and theology written into hymns is right out of Scripture. When you memorize hymns - you are memorizing Scripture. When you learn hymns - you will learn the truths of our faith - you will learn to focus on God and His attributes and you will learn a great, big vocabulary.

Before supper on Sunday afternoons when I was a little girl, we would gather around the piano and sing together as a family. In those early days, my mom would play the piano and we would call out numbers in the hymnbook of our favourites. I have vivid memories of those singing times. These were some of the hymns we sang each Sunday.

HOW GREAT THOU ART (VS. 3)

AND WHEN I THINK THAT GOD HIS SON NOT SPARING - SENT HIM TO DIE - I SCARCE CAN TAKE IT IN. THAT ON THE CROSS - MY BURDEN GLADLY BEARING - HE BLED AND DIED TO TAKE AWAY MY SIN. THEN SINGS MY SOUL - MY SAVIOUR GOD TO THEE - HOW GREAT THOU ART - HOW GREAT THOU ART.

HIDING IN THEE (VERSE 3)

HOW OFTEN IN CONFLICT, WHEN PRESSED BY THE FOE - I HAVE FLED TO MY REFUGE AND BREATHED OUT MY WOE. HOW OFTEN, WHEN TRIALS LIKE SEA-BILLOWS ROLL - HAVE IS HIDDEN IN THEE, O THOU ROCK OF MY SOUL.

DAY BY DAY (WE SANG THIS SONG AT MY BROTHER TIM’S FUNERAL)

DAY BY DAY AND WITH EACH PASSING MOMENT. STRENGTH I FIND TO MEET MY TRIALS HERE. TRUSTING IN MY FATHER’S WISE BESTOWMENT - I’VE NO CAUSE FOR WORRY OR FOR FEAR. HE WHOSE HEART IS KIND BEYOND ALL MEASURE - GIVES UNTO EACH DAY WHAT HE DEEMS BEST. LOVINGLY, ITS PART OF PAIN AND PLEASURE - MINGLING TOIL WITH PEACE AND REST.

A MIGHTY FORTRESS IS OUR GOD (MARTIN LUTHER)

A MIGHTY FORTRESS IS OUR GOD - A BULWARK NEVER FAILING. OUR HELPER HE AMID THE FLOOD - OF MORTAL ILLS PREVAILING. FOR STILL OUR ANCIENT FOE - DOTH SEEK TO WORK US WOE - HIS CRAFT AND POWER ARE GREAT - AND ARMED WITH CRUEL HATE - ON EARTH IS NOT HIS EQUAL.

When my Mom was close to entering Heaven - we had her bedroom set up in the den - where she could look across the road at beautiful Lake Huron. Near the end she spent 24 hours lying in bed but as she lay in bed - we played these great hymns of the faith for her - all day long. I will never lose the image in my mind of my Mom - lying in her bed - eyes closed - lips moving - foot tapping. Even to the end - my Mom - clung to the truths of these hymns that she had learned as a child and sang all her life. Hymns that she taught to her children as well. What a gift.

#5. God created man. God created woman.

Genesis 1 says: God created man in His own image - male and female He created them! Jesus reaffirmed these truths in Matthew 19.

I love my grandsons and my grand-daughters. I pray that they will cling to this truth in a world that may tell them something different. My desire is that each of them will know who they are in Jesus. I pray they won’t ever strive to be someone they are not created to be. I pray they will always be the boy or girl they are supposed to be. I pray each grandchild will know and understand these truths as they grow to be adults.

I say to them - “Don’t ever compare yourselves to others.” Be yourself.

This truth also - God created man for woman and woman for man. One day I look forward to attending the weddings of each of my grandchildren. One man/one woman/together for life.

#6. Randy - used to say - “Some may but you may not!!”

This concept is found in John 21:15 - 25. It records the conversation between Jesus and his disciple, Peter. At one point during the conversation Jesus asks Peter to follow Him - and Peter, seeing the disciple John nearby says - “what about him?” Jesus reminds Peter that this conversation is between the two of them and doesn’t involve John. “Some may but you may not!”

Some children may rebel and dishonour their parents but you may not.

Some children may desire to marry a person who doesn’t share their faith but you may not.

Some children may believe that heaven is a myth but not you.

Some may believe that it’s fine to take revenge but you may not.

Some children may think we evolved by chance but you may not.

Some may believe that the Bible doesn’t mean anything anymore but you may not.

Some may grumble but not you.

#7.Think about Heaven.

At the end of life, what really matters is not what we bought but what we built - not what we got but what we shared - not our competence but our character - not our success but our significance. Live a life that matters.

C.H.Spurgeon “We wept when we were born though all around us smiled! So shall we smile when we die while all around us will weep.”

John 1:1-3 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”

There are some things about heaven that we just don’t know but one thing we do - it’s the promised location after we die for everyone who loves Jesus and believes in Him.

I have lived my life as best I can for Jesus and I know without a shadow of a doubt that when I close my eyes for the last time in this life, I will open my eyes in Heaven.

#8. Be that one!

That one who forgives when deep offence has been committed. That one who loves when no one else does. That one who offers kindness to those who are mean. That one who looks past the insult.

Instead - see the pain that motivated it.

Be that one who shines light upon those who sit in utter darkness.

Because the impact of being that one runs far and wide. It brings healing to the wounded - joy to the sad - and hope to those in despair.

Be that one.

Prayer of Saint Francis (1181-1226)

“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred - let me sow love.

Where there is injury - pardon. Where there is doubt - faith.

Where there is despair - hope. Where there is darkness - light.

Where there is sadness - joy. O divine Master, grant that I - may not so much seek to be consoled as to console. To be understood as to understand. To be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive. It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.

It is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.”

#9. When you are grown up and leave home - call home regularly. Also call your grandparents.

#10. Remember that you are not walking solo!

You are part of a great big family.

At the present time - the Castle family - numbers 166 people - directly from my Dad and Mom. That’s a lot of people. At last count - 7 - of the 166 have gone Home to Glory. There are 20 TEACHERS, 15 BUSINESS OWNERS, 9 NURSES, 7 OFFICE ASSOCIATES, 11 BLUE COLLAR WORKERS, 8 PASTORS OR MINISTRY WORKERS, 6 STAY AT HOME MOMS, 1 LAWYER, 3 DOCTORS, 5 MEDICAL WORKERS, 2 POLICEMEN and a whack of STUDENTS in pre-school, elementary school - high school - and college/university.

My grandchildren are part of this great big family. They don’t ever need to think they have to face anything on their own. They can always reach out to their parents, their grandparents or aunts or uncles or cousins - should a need arise in their lives that overwhelms them. I trust they will never - ever forget that.

To my precious grandchildren - I can’t promise to be here for the rest of your life but I can promise to love you for the rest of mine.