A very long time ago - almost 40 years - we lived at Prices Corners - just outside of Orillia. We rented a lovely home from friends of ours who were missionaries in Africa. The house had a wonderful deck at the back that ran across the whole house. The boys were just toddlers at the time and loved to ride their tricycles and cars on that deck.

The spring when the boys were 4, 3 and 2, a mother Robin decided to build her nest under the deck. We all watched - fascinated with the process and progress of those two birds - mother and father - gathering and building - until it was finally ready. One day as we peered down through the boards, 3 very blue eggs were visible.

The mother birds do most of the nesting once the eggs are laid and in about 12 -14 days the babies will hatch. After feeding these young ones for 12 -16 days straight, the young robins leave the nest. We watched all that magical month - first - seeing those beautiful, blue eggs and then in admiration as both parents worked continuously gathering food for those very hungry wee ones. Imagine our surprise when we checked one morning and the nest was empty. They were gone. All of them. Just like that. Infancy! Childhood! Youth! Like a snap of the finger. Parenting complete.

With the arrival of Labour Day weekend and so many Facebook and Instagram posts of parents dropping their sons and daughters off at university and college, I was reminded of the emptying of my own nest. Cue the tears.

The years of our parenting seem to pass in a flash. When an older person tells a young couple to cherish the time they have with their babies, the parents usually look back with a dazed look as if to say - “you’re wrong - everything about our lives as newbie parents is going so slowly!” But as the saying goes - “long days - fast years!” They speak the truth.

All too soon it happened for Randy and I. Our home - for many, many years - was lively - 3 sons meant lots of noise! During the boy’s teenage years, we lived in Cambridge, pastoring at the Warehouse. We had an in ground pool in our back yard! Need I say more! The summer months were packed with pool parties and bbq’s. The school years were full of sports, part time jobs and youth group at church. It was the best of times.

Zac was the first to graduate from high school and took a gap year! The next year both Zac and Ben attended the University of Guelph but lived at home. Short commute to classes from Cambridge. More economical as well.

Here it comes!

All three boys moved out the next year. Zac bought a condo in Guelph and rented the rooms out to friends and lived quite happily there for the next few years. Ben moved to Guelph and moved in with a bunch of his friends from Power to Change.

Pete decided to go to Queens in Kingston.

The week before Pete moved to Kingston, I went about business as usual, trying not to think about the fact that in just a few short days, our once very lively home, would be silent. No music blaring from the bedrooms. No drums and guitars played in the basement. No laughter in the pool. No basketballs pounding the pavement in front of the house. No empty milk containers in the fridge that “nobody emptied.” No dirty dishes left in the family room. No piles of clothes on the floor.

On the Saturday morning of Pete’s big move, we were all in the driveway helping to pack the van. Randy would be driving Pete to Kingston and because the van was packed to the gills, I would not be going. When every last bag was loaded - the goodbyes started. Brothers hugging brothers. Friends giving high fives! Neighbours calling out “all the best Pete!” When Pete came to me for his hug - he whispered - “are you okay, mom?” “I whispered back - ‘yes’!”

Then I burst into tears and said - “No! No! I’m not alright!”

The pain of an empty nest is real. The loss is great. I wondered if we had done enough to prepare our sons to live on their own. I would not be there to chat about their days and would miss the day to day routine of making lunches, washing and drying and folding mountains of laundry - and driving to the high school to watch games and pick up after practices.

The house felt too quiet. I missed the chaos and noise. I missed all the size 12 running shoes scattered by the back door. I missed smelly uniforms. In the days following the departure of all three boys, I found myself wandering in and out of their bedrooms. I was restless. I shed many tears. I felt listless - without purpose.

However…….in time……..my very sad heart healed. It took time but it healed.

I had many things to be grateful for.

Our sons all settled into their university routines quickly and efficiently. They worked hard, had fun and met new friends. They grew up.

We had prepared them well. We had done the job we were called to. We fed them. We clothed them. We taught them right from wrong. We trusted that in their decision making, they would be wise. We let them go.

It was Mother Teresa who penned these words -

“You will teach them to fly but they will not fly your flight. You will teach them to dream but they will not dream your dream. You will teach them to live but they will not live your life. Nevertheless, in every flight, in every life, in every dream - the print of the way you taught them will remain.”

It was back to just the two of us! And it was good!