Eight years ago I met Harv, my second husband, for the first time. face to face, in a coffee shop, halfway between our two homes. Eight years ago, we sat, drinking coffee, twirling our serviettes, nervously, then more easily, sharing the stories of our lives.

Both Harv and I were married when we were in our early twenties. Both of us were happily married for 35 years (me) and 34 years (Harv) - both of us lost our spouse suddenly - both of us entered into widowhood/widowerhood earlier than we ever imagined - both of us had children and grandchildren - both of us loved the Leafs and Blue Jays and Raptors - both of us liked to golf (Harv - way more than me at the time) - both of us loved good food (maybe me more than Harv - Harv kept Boston Pizza going while he was alone) - both of us on the same page spiritually - both of us not ever thinking that God would have a second spouse for us to enjoy the second half of life with.

Harv and I met each other through friends in Kincardine. Their daughter was my neighbour in Everett and in late September of that year - my friend came over to my house and announced that her parents had someone I should meet.

“I’m not getting married again!” (me)

“Just have coffee!” (her)

“Here is the email of a lady you should meet!” (friends to Harv)

“Not interested!” (Harv)

Regardless of us both thinking we were not interested, the emails began to go back and forth between Kincardine and Everett in early October. It was like the movie “You’ve Got Mail!” I would send an email and eagerly await the ding of my computer to alert me that Harv had answered. He would do the same. We wrote about the weather, children, grandchildren, our faith and the like. Later in the month I asked Harv if he’d like to meet for coffee.

And so it began. That coffee meeting stretched into two hours. Harv says it was the hug and quick kiss on the cheek that grabbed his attention. For me, it was Harv’s sweet nervousness but attentiveness to my words that initially caught my attention and as I said to my bestie when I phoned her “he’s pretty easy on the eyes!”

Unbeknownst to me - my mom (who was 95 at the time) had been praying that I would meet a man who would become my second husband. My parents were married for 69 years - mom’s heart for me was pained and grieved when Randy died so suddenly and I was left a widow. When I called her several weeks later to say Harv and I were getting married her joy was evident - “now I can die in peace - my baby girl will have a husband to care for and be cared for!” I also didn’t know that my bestie was praying the same prayer. We met weekly for chats and to share prayer requests for each other and she would often say “when you meet someone and get married again!” I would say - “I’m not getting married again!”

Harv and I spent most of November having late night conversations (9 pm - 2 am) - meeting for lunches and suppers - writing endless emails - very quickly we were falling in love.

In mid November I had been in Kitchener visiting my son and his family. I left early Saturday evening for the two hour drive home. The weather was fine when I left but as I drove north - the flurries began - and then a full blown snowstorm was upon me. I was driving my Honda Civic with no snow tires. Somehow I found myself leading a very long line of cars - going ever so slowly. I couldn’t see any of the lines on the road and it was ever so slippery. I was terrified. I played worship music to comfort me. I prayed. I phoned my bestie and she and her husband talked with me and prayed with me. At one point I pulled off the road into a parking lot and cried. After I calmed down, I pulled back on to the highway and proceeded to creep slowly home. About 10 kms further down the road, I came upon that long line of cars smashed into each other - cars everywhere - in the ditches and turned in the wrong direction. I was waved to keep going and eventually I got home.

Later that evening I phoned Harv to tell him of my treacherous journey home and the first words out his mouth were - “On Monday we’re getting snow tires on your car. I don’t want to worry that every time you are on the road, your car will be slip sliding all over the place.” HE HAD ME AT THE SNOW TIRES. Here was a man who cared deeply.

I would learn (and continue to learn) that Harv is a man who is faithful to me, our families and to God. Harv loves deeply and sometimes finds it difficult to express his feelings but when he hears a song that expresses what’s in his heart, he sends it to me. Harv is a provider. It’s in his nature to take care of me. Harv worked hard all his life to care for his family and meet their needs and that continues to this day. Harv is generous and helpful to those in need. Harv forgives easily and doesn’t hold grudges. I would learn that Harv is practical and I am more of a dreamer - these two characteristics sometimes clash and would take some time to jive but jive we did!!!!

We married 6 months after we met. Everything fell into place - my house sold and I moved to Kincardine. Our wedding verse was - Psalm 30:5 “Weeping may tarry for the night but joy comes in the morning.”

We spent the first year doing everything together. There is a Bible verse in the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy - verse 24:5 - that says - “when a man takes a new wife, he shall not go out (to fight) with the army nor be charged with any duty; he shall be free at home for one year and shall bring happiness to his wife whom he has taken.” That’s right! For one full year - we spent pretty much every waking hour together. It was an amazing year and we learned much about each other.

We don’t take it lightly that we were given a second chance at love and marriage. We’re grateful to God for bringing us together at just the right time. We’re grateful for our children and grandchildren. We’re grateful for our friends. We’re grateful for that special couple who saw something in both of us - way back eight years ago - who saw two people on their own - who, given the opportunity to meet, might just might, come together and become a couple. That’s exactly what happened.