The story is told of a university president who’s wife developed Alzheimer’s disease. Apparently he quit his prestigious job to stay at home to look after her. He was out walking one day - pushing his beloved in her wheelchair - when a former student spotted him and told him how much he was missed on campus. The student told him that thousands of students, professors and staff missed his leadership and wisdom. The young man pressed the former president with this statement - “surely it’s more important for the thousands of us on campus to have your leadership than for one woman to take your full attention - especially, someone who doesn’t really know you anymore.” The student was bold enough to say to the man - “you could easily hire someone to care for your wife.” The president’s words have echoed in my brain for many years - “when I married my wife 50 years ago I made vows - I promised her - for better or for worse - in sickness and in health. For most of those years, we enjoyed better and health. I promised my wife I would care for her in the worse and in sickness. Now is that time.

I have made those same vows.

Twice.

Between my marriages - though - I did have moments when I wondered about growing old - alone. I sometimes awakened in the night and wondered who would wipe my forehead when I’m puking in the toilet. I wondered who would tell me I’m beautiful when my hair grew thin and wispy, my teeth fell out, my skin wrinkly and dry. Who would wipe my chin when I dribbled. I thought about such things.

I was tempted to be anxious about the future. I felt the darts and poisonous temptations coming hard and fast. I felt the missiles assaulting me daily. I felt the evil one causing me to doubt the promises of God - to mistrust God’s sovereignty - to put aside the truths that I had believed in all of my life. I felt those punches to my gut. I felt Satan’s desire to take me out at the knees. I knew he wanted me to give into these temptations and blame God. The devil is a liar and a cheat.

As always I relied on the truths of the Bible to sustain me through those hard times - through those times of doubt and turmoil. I was (and still am) reminded that - God is with me always - even to the end of the age - God gives me perfect peace in every situation - don’t get upset - don’t be distraught - I can trust God and never be afraid, for He is my strength and my song (in the night) - that God is involved in each moment of my life, carefully mapping out every inch of my journey - to trust God in every situation - to thank Him - refuse to worry.

My father-in-law, Ray Jolliffe, developed Altzheimer’s disease, after he and his (second) wife, Jean had been married for about 7 years. For the next 12 years (6 of them at their home and 6 in a nursing home) I watched Jean’s commitment to care for Randy’s dad. She cooked nutritious meals for him - she made sure he had fresh air and walks - they went to church and concerts and friend’s homes. When dad wandered away and he wasn’t safe in their apartment anymore - he went to live at a beautiful Residence for seniors. Jean went everyday for 6 years and fed Dad his lunch and supper. She cared for him gently and lovingly - taking her vows to Dad seriously. She was an example to me.

I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know if I will live to be 100 like my mom. I don’t know a lot of things so I’ll stick to the things I don know.

I’m loved and cared for by my heavenly Father.

I’m loved and cared for by Harvey and my children.

I’m loved and cared for by my siblings and nieces and nephews.

I’m loved and cared for by my friends.

After my Dad died - my Mom - lived in their house for a time, with my brother Phil and his wife, Gwen, in Kingston in a retirement home, back with Phil and Gwen, and finally in a Retirement Home in Cornwall. Things, however, changed dramatically in 2020 because of the Coronavirus. For the first time in her life, Mom had no family or friends come to visit, her meals were dropped off in her room and she ate by herself, she was alone - 24/7. Needless to say, as a family, we were devastated by this turn of events and needed to make changes. We were thankful that Mom could come and live with Harv and I. For Mom - there would be-

No more eating alone.

No more long days looking out the window at the wall of the next building.

No more days of not getting a hug or a touch or a caress.

Mom’s days would be filled with all the love Harv and I could give her. Her view from her bedroom would be looking at the Caribbean blue waters of Lake Huron. She wouldn’t wonder if the staff brought her lunch or supper. She wouldn’t lie on her bed all day long - unmotivated to get up. We sang to her. We chatted about days gone by. We read. We rested. We were with her.

Mom longed for Heaven and looked forward to going “Home” to be with Jesus. She looked forward to seeing Dad and Tim and Bill and Randy and countless numbers of family and friends.

And yet she lived. And she lived with us.

It was Ralph Waldo Emerson that said - All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.” I watched my mother trust the Lord all my life - I watched her through hard times and easy times - through thick and thin - through grief and joy - I saw it with my own eyes.

Mom died on January 25th, 2021 - 15 minutes to midnight but she didn’t face death alone. No way. Sue and Phil and Gwen and Harvey and I - walked her Home.

I look forward to growing old with Harv. Together. Caring for one another. We made vows to one another and we intend to honour those vows - ‘til death parts us. Should I go first, I know our kids will care for him. They’ll make sure he doesn’t eat at Boston Pizza every lunch and supper. They’ll make sure he takes his meds. Should he go first, same. The kids will step in to make sure I don’t set the house on fire and will wipe the dribble off my chin.

I’ll never leave you nor forsake you.